personsonable:
one time i saw a video of a hippo eating a watermelon. they rather funny-looking beasts, aren’t they? it opens its mouth which honestly looks completely non-threatening because it had, like, six teeth, and then the handler just sets the watermelon at the bottom
and then it uses that silly widdle whisker face to absolutely fucking destroy this watermelon like the damn thing’s rind was made of rice paper. turns out, the reason it doesn’t have many teeth is because teeth are for lesser beings that can’t rip through natural obstacles by gumming them to pieces with an inconceivable bite force. and it doesn’t snap or tear into it or anything, it just calmly closes its mouth around the watermelon, pauses for a moment while it assesses just how much of its ridiculous strength it needs to use, and crushes it like one of those chocolate malt balls
you know that feeling that’s, like, when you see something and you think, “this is so far outside of the realm of human experience that any conception i have of this will forever be a mere shadow of its true nature”? i feel that way about a hippo’s strength. one of my distant ancestors likely looked up into the sky at the natural terror of lightning and believed that such a thing could only be the direct influence of a god. i channel that fear, but for hippos